Nursery Rhymes

When my daughter was in kindergarten, I had only recently been discharged from the Navy. As you would know, sailors have a very bad habit of changing words and phrases to suit their needs. It so happened when Katrina was learning nursery rhymes. I sort of taught her the rhymes we used to say in the boozer (ship's bar) to help pass the time.
Unfortunately, she recited them at kindergarten and told the other kids that they were saying the wrong words. Consequently, I received a "request" from her teacher to "refrain from teaching Katrina sea shanty style nursery rhymes".
So I thought that seeing that it has been a time since my last entry, I would regale you with some old and bold sailors' nursery rhymes.

Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockle shells,
And a bloody great onion right in the middle!!

Little Jack Horner sat in the corner
Eating his Christmas pie.
He put in his thumb
And pulled out a bicycle and said
"Whoa. How did Santa fit that in there."

Little Boy Blue come blow your trumpet
If the sheep don't like it
They can bloody well lump it.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the King's horses
And all the King's men
Had scrambled eggs for breakfast.

Little Miss Muffett
Sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey.
Along came a spider
And sat down beside her
And she said "Piss off hairy legs".

So as you can see from this smattering of rhymes, I could not have possibly been popular with the teacher!!

Be back in a while with more glittering repartee for your enjoyment.