OUT OF THE DOLDRUMS

At long last I can see clearly now. That seems like maybe a good name for a song!!!! I seem to have spent so long down in the dumps and very confused with myself because of this dreaded PTSD. I finally got jack of it and spent quite a session with my doctor. He proposed that I see a counsellor to see if that would help. And, lo and behold, after several sessions I feel as if a great load has been lifted from me.
I have had counselling before and that was when I was finally diagnosed with PTSD. I went to the VVCS or Vietnam Veterans' Counselling Service (now known as Veterans and Veterans' Family Counselling Service). The people there are absolutely wonderful. They have been trained specifically for dealing with veterans and their inherent problems rising from war service. This time I went back to them and the counsellor I am now seeing is ex-Army and ex-Police Force (or should I say Police Service???) so he knows where I'm coming from. He didn't see active service but dealt with a lot of bad stuff while in the Police.
He showed me how to control my temper and mood swings by breathing. This brought on another problem of sorts. When I was studying for my teaching papers, I developed a series of breathing exercises to allow instrumentalists and vocalists control their breathing, which seems to have been very successful as some of my ex-students still use the process. Anyhow, while doing the relaxation breathing, I found I was falling into my own exercises and that seemed to increase the value of what I was doing. The counsellor seemed quite pleased with that although I thought maybe it would be wrong.
He also encouraged me to get back into things I used to do, so, after a couple of sessions I got up the courage to go to the RSL and volunteer myself for anything that I could do to help them. It seems that at the moment they don't have much going on, so I will just wait until they need me. But at least I have made a start.
Another thing he encouraged me to do was to get interested in music again. I composed a march while I was studying in 1982 and I have barely looked at it since, until now. I am in the process of re-writing it and I have found that it is an enjoyable pastime. Of course I don't have the skills on hand as I had in 1982, but they are coming back bit by bit.
I have been lucky to find a music writing programme on-line for a reasonable price, so I can now write music and listen to the results, which sometimes are horrendous, but usually easily fixed. It seems that my ear for notes is still with me to a certain degree. One day I might even find a concert band to play it. The local RSL has a Youth Band, so maybe they might be approachable. I have spoken to the bandmaster and explained to him that I wanted to volunteer my services somewhere, and when he found out my musical history, he sort of hinted that maybe, just maybe, I could stand in for him as conductor when he wasn't available. Now that is something that I could do pretty well!!!!
I have also been told by my doc that physiotherapy is a must. So I have been for the first assessment visit and see him again tomorrow week for the first agony session. The physio was quite amazed that I hadn't been referred to a specialist of some kind like a neurologist or surgeon when I first injured my leg. Maybe that could be on the agenda too.
So much going on and so little space to write about it. I will keep you informed as to how I progress with everything as time goes on. So, until the next time, just please be glad for me and my little success in recovery.